Legal News: Ouch.

With all the important, ground-breaking legal news that seems to come out of our state, you might be forgiven for thinking that lawyers and judges regularly get to see unique, brand-new, revolutionary cases and legal arguments. In fact, Bostonist can assure you that the great bulk of the work that a Massachusetts lawyer does is about as entertaining as, say, an episode of Boston Legal. For that reason, dear reader, we feel we should bring your attention to a decision of the Massachusetts Appeals Court that was released today, because it answers a question that no appellate court in the entire nation has dealt with before, and because it's very amusing in a snickering, seventh-grade sort of way: if you ever wondered whether a man whose penis is inadvertently broken (!) during consensual sex can sue his partner for the damages, the answer is no.

Bostonist cringes just from thinking about it, but apparently penile fracture is a very serious injury. (Bostonist also realizes you're curious, and understands your reluctance to google the word "penile"; go here for more info with no pictures.) It's also a rare enough injury that no one who had it happen to him ever took the matter to court. But there is a first time for everything, and the anonymous plaintiff in Doe v. Moe was sufficiently aggrieved by his fate that he decided to sue his girlfriend over the matter (presumably, she is now his ex-girlfriend; Bostonist has found that lawsuits and romance don't mix too well). Unfortunately for him, the Court ruled that there are certain areas of human endeavor in which courts and juries are generally ill-equipped to make unprejudiced judgments, and - wouldn't you know it? - sex is one of them. But today's decision contains a caveat, which Bostonist's more, ahem, adventurous readers should keep in mind: If a person's conduct is so reckless during sex that he (or she) abandons all concern for the safety of his partner, and an injury results, his partner may still be able to sue. So, you know, take it easy.