Assembly Square is Coming Right Along

Although the population of greater Boston probably doesn't think much about Assembly Square ("That's off 93, right?" "No, wait, it's off 28, isn't it?" Yes and yes), in Somerville it is ever on residents' lips and minds: "With but a few anchor mega-retailers," Somervillians muse, "a gleaming shopping Mecca might arise, nestled among humming highways and reaching into the wallets of Boston, Cambridge, Woburn, and - dare we say it - even Winchester!" It's enough of a big deal that the mayor touts his success in bringing development to the area on his city homepage.Until recently, Assembly Square was nothing but an ugly agglomeration of spread-out box stores, a paintball arena, and Good Time Emporium (motto: "Wholesome Medford families + posturing North Shore thugs = good times for all!"), strung along lonely Middlesex Avenue, where the 99 Restaurant and La Quinta Inn vie for Least Appealing Way to Spend an Evening while the Somerville Police net an impressive number of drivers with a completely undisguised speed trap. Bostonist had occasion to visit the area today and can report that it's still incredibly depressing, but now it's incredibly depressing plus it has the enormous, incomplete skeleton of a generic mega-mall, which several drivers were eyeing with curiosity while they waited for the cops to write their tickets. (Does it look anything like the city's theoretical post-renovation paradise, pictured above? Not even a little bit.)

Bostonist can understand the instinct to create a fully enclosed Chestnut Hill replica - the surroundings are so unremittingly unpleasant that no one in their right mind would buy high-end goods if they were reminded where they were. But dammit, high-end goods are a dime a dozen, as are cookie-cutter malls accessible only by car (and believe us when we say, having gone yesterday on our bicycle, that Assembly Square is for cars and cars alone). Isn't there a way, Bostonist wonders, to develop the area so it looks nice, is accessible to people on foot, and has a Building 19? We can remember all too well the day we risked life and limb to bike up Route 28, excited to peruse slightly irregular cookware and imported knock-off boardgames with typos, only to see a sign suggesting we go to the nearest Building 19 location - IN LYNN!!! We can't bike to Lynn!

All of which is to say, Bostonist has investigated and can report that Assembly Square is well on its way to being converted from a blighted area into a blighted area with a huge mall. Stay tuned.