The Gates of Hell

Much as Bostonist loves running at the mouth, we realize that there are some matters, especially those concerning national politics, that are simply beyond the scope of our little endeavor. So when the President announces he has a new man for the Supreme Court job, Bostonist just says, "What's his man got to do with me?" And when when folks in the administration are exposed for the crooks we always suspected they were, we remember that discretion is the better part of valor (or brevity is the soul of wit, or something) and let it pass without comment. But there is one matter of national importance about which we can no longer remain silent - a scourge so pervasive, so seemingly innocent yet destructive of our sanity, that conscience requires us to speak out against it: The resurgent use of "-gate" as a suffix to mean "scandal," as in "Plamegate."

Why do we hate this so? Firstly, because it all started with the Watergate scandal, which had nothing to do with water (it was the name of a hotel). Secondly, because "gate" means "entryway," and when you stick that on the end of another word, the effect is weird and distracting. The Monica Lewinsky scandal, for example, was already tawdry enough to make Bostonist feel dirty, and calling it "Monicagate" was just too much. "Plame" is already a weird name, and "Plamegate" is weirder still.

So please, news media, pundits, and ordinary citizens: Today is Bostonist's favorite day of the year, so do us a favor. If you must discuss the second most important scandal currently running in our nation's capital (the first being the shameful failure of President Bush to nominate Mitt Romney to the Supreme Court), please don't call it "Plamegate" (or "Cheneygate" or "Scootergate," even though that last one sounds funny). We don't know what you should call it, but would love to hear suggestions from our dear readers.