Off the Presses: "Skeleton Crew at the Office" Edition

For those three others of you in your cubicles this afternoon, Bostonist thought you’d like a little something to read while you mind-numbingly try to keep yourself entertained until 5p.m.

Newton Couple Stabbed in Home Invasion: Once voted the safest place to live in America, Newton pops up on the local news scene with a scary story about a knife wielding neighbor who inexplicably attacks a couple in their home. Luckily, police caught him after a search through the night.

Murder Total Hits 75: In other depressing news, the homicide toll for the year of 2005 has reached 75 people (with 54 cases still unsolved). The latest addition was a man in his twenties, who along with three others, was shot in the housing development on Lenox Avenue and Shawmut Avenue. (Depending on which news source you read, they referred to this area as the South End or Roxbury.)

Gyms Keep Expanding Like Our Waistlines: As expected each January 1st, people run (wheezing of course) to their local gym, join right away, and hit the treadmills running. Of course this is excellent news for fitness clubs across the state…but they fail to mention how many end up dropping their fitness routine before February 1st.

Brattle is Still Breathing: There is still hope for the ailing Brattle Theater to reach their fundraising goal of $400,000 to stay in business in 2006. They have until February 28 when their lease ends to come up with the rest of the money needed ($200,000) to stay open. Can they do it? And where did all these Twin Peaks fans come from?

Possibility of Snow for the New Year: Oh joy. Bostonist can’t wait to vertical on Sunday morning with a hangover from hell and a vague recollection of falling down at the party the night before, only to be met with inches of the white stuff on our way to get an egg and cheese at the local deli. (C’mon, we know you all have this routine down on Sunday mornings.)

Red Sox Left With Not Much: Bostonist loves the Herald’s article today about the Sox having “too Manny issues.” We had a nice giggle over that headline. Turns out that Theo’s dynasty didn’t just include a World Series win, but a crappy lineup with overpaid players for the upcoming 2006 season, too.

Photo courtesy of flickr.com/ user: cnamonelmo