Ask Bostonist: What to do for Evacuation St. Patrick's Day

GreenBeer.gifDear Ask Bostonist,

I have two out-of-town friends (NYC and DC) who are visiting me next weekend. They are all excited about being in Boston for St. Patrick's Day, but every time I venture out of the 17th in Boston, I don't seem to have a good time...very long lines, cheesy bars (Purple Shamrock, anyone?), or just a skeleton crew is left. Any suggestions where I can take them on St. Patty's Day after work?

Katie

As usual, when this query was speedily delivered by courier pigeons to the Ask Bostonist desk at Bostonist headquarters, we promptly made numerous mimeographed copies and sent one to each member of the staff via our lengthy network of pneumatic tubes. Uncharacteristically, however, the usually verbose crew was not so forthcoming with answers and suggestions. At first, we thought they were just slacking, but the more we consider it, the more we realize: There is no good answer.

As Katie points out, St. Patrick's Day on the town is invariably a disaster. Unless you head to your bar of choice at 10:00 a.m., the place will be full by the time you get there, since the Commonwealth's hard-drinking employees in Suffolk County have the day off. By the after-work hours, every watering hole inside 128 is choked with drunk celebrants, and by 11:00 or 12:00, merriment frequently gives way to brawling.

So basically, what Bostonist is saying is, Just Say No. If you choose to ignore our advice, let us suggest a slightly non-traditional activity (i.e., something other than squeezing into an Irish bar). Here are a couple examples:

Friday night will mark the first local bout of the Boston Derby Dames, our city's "first, best, and only all-girl, skater-owned, flat-track roller derby league," as their website proudly proclaims. Their "Shamrock Showdown" takes place at 8:00 at the MassArt Gymnasium, with live music, DJs, refreshments, and "merry chaos galore." Also, many of the Dames have awesome noms de guerre, like Ivana Clobber, Full Metal Jacque, and Slammela Anderson.

The Dropkick Murphys, the quintessential Boston Irish rock band and general purveyors of good times, have fully sold out their five-night engagement at the Avalon, but there are still plenty of folks on craigslist who will make your rock 'n' roll St. Patty's Day dream come true for between $40 and $70. Or go the cheap music route and celebrate the day the way the Saint himself did - by listening to live hip-hop.

Or, if you absolutely must do the bar thing, well, you'll have plenty of company. Here's a seriously random and incomplete list of Irish bars in the area, to which we would, naturally, add the classic Union Street crawl: the Bell in Hand, Hennessy's, the Tap, etc. Bostonist has always been fond of the Burren in Davis Square (corned beef and cabbage served all day Friday!), and we really want to mention An Tua Nua on Beacon Street, not because we honestly think it's a good place to go, but because we want to refer to it as the mullet of Boston Irish pubs (business up front, party in the back).

Photo: Whatever you do, avoid the green beer.

Comments (1) [rss]

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Bostonist speaks with the true wisdom. Every bar in Boston will be packed Friday night. So what's to be done? The great thing about this St. Patty's day (though they're all swell) is that it's on a Friday. And the parade isn't until Sunday. Why not make a weekend of it? Events abound.

Or, if you've only got Friday night to spare, maybe eating an authentic Irish dinner would help raise the appropriate revelatory spirit?

And, whatever else, when you go out there's certainly no reason to go to a cheesy pub like the Sham. Bostonist has made a good suggestion in the Burren, and you can't go wrong with bars named for lesser known Irish writers, like Brendan Behan's or Flann O'Brien's. They're more isolated, but also probably less crowded and certainly more authentic.

Have a good time.

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