...And That is Why my Right Nostril is Bigger Than my Left.

It’s been a while, but now we’ve got to do some spring cleaning. Bostonist is cleaning out our ears and putting them to good use eavesdropping. We hope you’ll help us by sending in the things you overhear on your commute, at lunch, or as you’re waiting for your TurboIce at Gate B of Fenway Park. Drop them into an email and send it off to us cyber-space style to the address overheard – at – bostonist dot com

Two girls in a Red line train reading the map of stops: Teen Girl #1: "So is Harvard where Harvard is?" Teen Girl #2: "Yeah - didn't you used to think Harvard was in California?" Perhaps we should tell them that Haymarket is where Haymarket is too

A homeless man entices two young girls passing by. Well, ok, maybe there was no enticement, but he wasn’t asking for spare change:
”Girls, you don't know what you're missing. I'm the real Big Dig!”

Wearing their gear straight from Hot Topic two girls walk through Harvard Yard:
Alternateen 1: "These people are like a million times smarter than me"
Alternateen 2: *disinterested grunt*
Alternateen 1: (raising her voice) "Well, do we really need to come here every day? This place makes me feel so dumb!"

File under "Life is hard":
Thug 1: “Yo, I have to stop smoking weed for like two weeks, son!”
Thug 2: “NO WAY!”

It’s one thing to be a groupie, another thing to find oneself backstage. Both can be exciting depending on your state of mind. We’re guessing she was maybe a sophomore:
College Girl: “Can we take a picture with you?”
Guy: “Sure but I'm not in a band…those guys (pointing to other guys) are in a band if you want to take a picture with them.”
Girl: (pauses, looks to friends for help) “uhmmm, uh, well, we want to take a picture with you anyway!”

On the Green Line, a boy of roughly middle school age brags to a group of friends:
"Once I got my dad drunk and I got my allowance four times."

Woman on cell
“I mean, he's not even really cute, but he's cute in a pussy sort of way.”

Man in a suit talking on his cell near Beacon Hill, quite possibly a fine Massachusetts lobbyist:
“Sure, line up all the Senators so I can kiss their asses one at a time!”

Wacky one-sided cell phone calls are becoming increasingly blaze. But if you see someone on a pay phone you’re likely to pick up something clever. The soap opera of this guys life continues, even though it seemed he already had a date (by his side):
"Stop lying to me. Just stop lying. I KNOW you're not in the Riviera."

Just what you don’t want your parents to say, from a father to a daughter overheard near Northeastern:
"We just don't miss you that much."

A passerby, who’s nostrils didn’t appear to be that different on first glance:
"...and that is why my right nostril is bigger than my left."

These fine statements of wisdom were heard by you and people just like you. Tell us what you've heard. Send an email to overheard -at- bostonist dot com. And remember you heard it here first: