The Great Pumpkin's Revenge

Ah, fall. Fall marks the start of so many delightful traditions - leaf-peeping, the NFL season, heavy beer, jerks tossing pumpkins off overpasses and onto cars …

If you've been keeping up with the regional crime reports, there's been a veritable plague of killer gourds. After weeks of tormenting motorists, the people who made up the Highway Pumpkin Posse have received their just desserts - and it ain't a slice of pumpkin pie. The police finally arrested five people who were tossing pumpkins off overpasses and onto cars. But that doesn't mean there aren't pumpkin abusers out there just waiting to commit assault with a deadly pumpkin.

An airborne pumpkin is no laughing matter, especially if one is hurtling toward your car. Pumpkins may seem all cute and friendly, but they're heavy, and they hurt, as anyone who has accidentally dropped one on a foot will attest. One poor woman went to the hospital after a flying pumpkin struck her windshield and shattered it. Humans aren't the only victims. The pumpkin terror has spawned images of forlorn, burst pumpkins on the evening news.

Perhaps in reaction to this rampant gourd abuse, pumpkins have made themselves scarce this year. Pumpkins deserve love. Pumpkins want to be pies or jack-o-lanterns. They weren't meant to be used as a weapon, and these vandals might want to look out as the Great Pumpkin's Revenge would be a brilliant horror-movie plot.

Post contributed by Caroline Roberts. Image courtesy Flickr user ms. Tea