Now that the new management sent WLVI's longtime news team packing and launched the "7News at 10pm on CW 56," was all the turmoil that Sunbeam Television Corporation caused worth it?

Absolutely not. The "7News at 10pm on CW 56," a wordy title already, should be renamed the "New Coke Newscast."

The New Coke Newscast might appeal to you if you like Entertainment Tonight, seizure-inducing flashing lights, and out-of-breath newscasters. But, for those of you who like to catch the local news before going to bed, you'll be in for a disappointment.

In fact, you might mistake the New Coke Newscast for an episode of Entertainment Tonight. For their debut newscast, the team chose to lead off with the fall and redemption of Miss USA Tara Conner. There's no possible local angle to the story because the drugged-out, tacky "beauty queen" is from Kentucky and did her dirty deeds in New York City. Yet it somehow qualified as a top story.

The next story was about a puppy in peril, followed by a Neil Entwhistle update, and the sordid tale of a teacher who had naked recess with a student. This story was the newscast's high point because the reporter uttered the immortal words "and then there was sex." Memo to Jon Stewart – all faux-newscasts should include that line.

Meanwhile, Fox 25, the New Coke Newscast's chief rival, started the night with a novel concept – a local news story about a crane hitting an overpass that may have affected viewers. They did indeed cover Tara Conner, but they postponed the story until midway in the newscast.

The form of the New Coke Newscast was as underwhelming as its content. The program was so high-energy that it seemed like a parody of the trend in trigger-cut local news. At some points, anchor Frances Rivera got cut off in the rush to get to a story, and the busy graphics, complete with "whoosh" noises, outdid the Fox network in the hyperbole department.

In the end, Maria Stephanos and the rest of the 10pm Fox 25 news team need not worry. Unless the New Coke Newscast – sorry, the "7News at 10pm on CW 56" – takes a Valium, Fox 25 has the ratings for the time slot locked up.

Screengrab of the fallen beauty queen taken from last night's WLVI news broadcast.