Schlock City USA - Part One

The Schlock-Around-the-Clock festival kicks off on Saturday night at the Brattle at 9:30 pm. Bring your jammies - they're going until the next morning. Tickets are $20 for the all-nighter.

The Brattle is hosting its very first Schlock-Around-the-Clock this weekend, and, when it comes to schlock, they've set the bar very, very high.

You may never see schlock like this all in one place again. Here's the Brattle's lineup:

Shanty Tramp (1967) This movie plays on every Southern stereotype you can imagine. A devotee of the movie's producer, exploitation importer K. Gordon Murray, referred to the movie as - ahem - "Corn Porn."

Troll 2 (1990) Troll 2 - which is not a sequel to Troll, by the way - is the new Plan 9. It has a lavish fan site in which diehard fans can download all sorts of Troll-related memorabilia. But we love it because it includes the immortal line "You can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" Many, many Troll 2 spoofs, clips, and commentaries exist on the web. The following music video montage is only one of them:

Wonder Woman (1974) According to the Brattle, this is the pilot episode for the series. But something very big isn't right - Cathy Lee Crosby of That's Incredible is Wonder Woman. That's a crime against Lynda Carter! If Wonder Woman was a guilty pleasure for you, this could either be a delightful surprise or deeply upsetting.

Barb Wire (1996) Two words: Pamela Anderson. Need we say more?

Joysticks (1983) We think we saw this teen sex comedy on USA's old Up All Night program, in which Gilbert Gottfried guided insomniac teens through terrible movies. If it's good enough for Gilbert Gottfried, it's good enough for us.

Poor Pretty Eddy (1975) Another trashy piece of "corn porn," this time featuring an Elvis impersonator and Shelley Winters who essentially torture a singer played by Leslie Uggams. Frankly, despite the presence of Shelley Winters, Bostonist feels this one might be worth napping through. It's been renamed and repackaged a dozen times (we saw it as Heartbreak Hotel), and it still hasn't caught on as a cult classic because there's little to redeem it.

The Magic Land of Mother Goose (1967) Herschell Gordon "Blood Feast" Lewis does a children's movie? What starts as a stage play goes wildly, wonderfully wrong. You might not need psychedelics to feel like you're on a trip with this one.

Bride of the Monster (1955) It ain't Plan 9 From Outer Space, but it was a big part of Tim Burton's Ed Wood. You'll recognize this movie as soon as Bela Lugosi wrestles with a very large, very fake, and very stolen octopus.

The Terror of Tiny Town (1938) It doesn't get more exploitative than this - a Western with a cast full of little people.

And, if that isn't enough schlock for you, you can stay up all night and then head straight over to the Somerville Theatre for the 32nd annual Sci-Fi film festival and what Bostonist likes to call Schlock City USA - The Day After, which you'll read about tomorrow.