Boston Blotter: Allen Funt Loves You!

How on earth can the BPD top "Ruckus Lands Picky Eater in Jail"? Easy. Try this headline for one of yesterday's crimes: "Smile! You're on Closed Circuit TV!"

The title says it all. Seriously, if you're an aspiring perp, didn't you get the memo not to get caught when the cameras are rolling?

In unfunny blotter news, one man was shot yesterday afternoon in Dorchester, while the BPD rounded up a guy who tried to shoot at an officer. This guy had the full menu of charges: "Assault with Intent to Murder, Carrying a Loaded a Firearm, Unlawful Possession a Firearm (2nd Offense), Unlawful Possession of Ammunition, Discharging a Firearm within 500’ of a Dwelling, Armed Career Criminal, and Trespassing." All that in one day!

Out in Fall River, a bus driver and a bus monitor have been suspended because they left a little kid behind on a bus Monday. It seems that people really don't take "No Child Left Behind" seriously! (nyuk, nyuk)

Last of all, one absolutely bonkers man has been sentenced to two-and-a-half years for taking a chainsaw to his friend's dog back in January because he "saw the devil in its eyes." Turns out, he was under the influence of the demon alcohol. As one witness put it, "when Mason drinks, 'he does stupid stuff.'" That's an understatement. What he did was so stupid that the dog had to be put down.

All charges are alleged until proven under law. Candid Camera DVD cover from popentertainment.com.