Sports Redux: Rockets From the Crypt

Last night, the Garden saw some serious ugly. After winning a few, Celtics fans had cause for optimism. However, they were facing the Houston Rockets, fifth in the West and fully stocked with Yao Ming.

Even though the Rockets didn't exactly deliver a pitch-perfect performance, the Celtics collapsed quickly and never caught up. The final score was 111 to 80, and the Rockets made 15 three-pointers. The performance was so bad that we thought we heard someone cheering for Kevin Durant, the hot draft pick who isn't even a Celtic - or anything else NBA - yet. The cry of "Kevin Durant!" was the cry of desperation.

At least the Red Sox beat the Mets 9 to 5 down in Fort Myers.

Matt Taibbi is going to have a busy sports blotter week over at the Phoenix. ESPN reports that Sacramento King and posterchild for cretins Ron Artest (yeah, him again) has been arrested for domestic violence after he "shoved [a woman] to the floor inside his home and prevented her from calling 911." The Kings promptly suspended him indefinitely.

In more minor offenses, Laker Kobe Bryant was suspended for one game after hitting a player in the face. This is interesting because it is his second offense of this type. Last of all, in medical offenses, former pitcher John Rocker is saying he never used human growth hormone after his name turned up as a client of a 'roid ring. Hold up - if he never used the steroids, then all his insane statements came naturally? That's even scarier.

A last note: Hartford Courant sportswriter Alan Greenberg, who was covering the Patriots, died of a heart attack Tuesday at age 55. Bill Belichick had nice things to say about Greenberg, and the Celtics offered a moment of silence for the writer before their game against the Rockets.

All charges alleged until proven under law. We love using the blotter disclaimer in the Redux! Rocket From the Crypt album cover from Amazon.