Sports Redux: Balti Mo

Finally, we can put the one-day wonder of Sockgate behind us. O's broadcaster Gary Thorne admitted he misinterpreted Doug Mirabelli's horseplay as a confession, and thus has no reason to believe that Curt Schilling painted his sock to look bloody. The lesson here, of course, is that horseplay has no place in a major league clubhouse. Curt took the opportunity to unload on the media; you get the feeling that parts of his diatribe were already written and ready to go.

With their hearts thus freed, the Red Sox went out and played...well...pretty listless baseball, to tell you the truth. Josh Beckett was pitching just fine, but the offense was nonexistent. Until the eighth, when Wily Mo Pena turned on a Chris Ray meatball and parked a grand slam somewhere in the vicinity of Annapolis. That was more than enough, and the Sox completed their 2-game sweep of Baltimore with a 5-2 win.

Great news for Beckett, who became the third Red Sox pitcher to notch his fifth win before May began. The other two? Babe Ruth and Pedro Martinez. Now that's some company to keep.

The Sox train rolls into the Bronx tonight, where Daisuke Matsuzaka and Andy Pettitte will square off. The Yankees are floundering; they've lost six in a row, and they supported wunderkind Phil Hughes with four measly singles in a 6-0 loss. We can't stress enough that the Red Sox need to bury the Yankees and sprinkle salt on the grave ASAP, so there's some wiggle room for when New York makes their inevitable run.

Red Sox fans have a looming existential dilemma. If A-Rod continues his torrid start, do we root for him to hit a record 74 home runs this year? On the theory that any foe of Barry Bonds is a friend of ours, we say a conditional 'yes'. Of course, if there's a pennant race brewing, we reserve the right to change our minds. Speaking of Bonds, The Onion is reporting that Major League Baseball is giving Hank Aaron credit for 50 home runs that should have counted towards his record, but didn't. We love The Onion.

In playoff news, Buffalo, Ottawa, San Jose and Anaheim all lead their second-round series 1-0. In the NBA, Detroit went up 3-0 on Orlando, while out West, Utah and the Lakers won (they trail Houston and Phoenix, respectively, 2-1). Curse those hapless Celtics and Bruins; we should be two weeks into our playoff beards by now.

Wily Mo picture from ESPN