Boston Blotter: A Cavalcade of Morons

--Someone must've really wanted to get caught while robbing Central Variety convenience store in Somerville. While he was awkwardly diving over the counter, he shoved an 8-year-old girl and stole the money she was spending for milk. The perp received only a box of cigars for his troubles. And the surveillance camera captured all the gory details.

We say, "Amateur!" This behavior splashed the perp all over last night's news, even beating out the fire that shut down the Longfellow Bridge. The reporters also talked to the little kid, who was a brave, tough cookie, although she said that the perp left her with a big bump on her head.

The 16-year-old turned himself in, and he will next visit Cambridge Juvenile Court. Perhaps the embarrassment drove him to do so. We bet he feels like a real tough guy now that he's fought with such a tough opponent – an 8-year-old! Another person involved in the robbery is still somewhere out there.

We feel bad for the people who run Central Variety. The place appears to be as cursed as the Good Time Emporium – this incident makes two robberies in a month.

--A woman who was six months pregnant was shot in the leg in Dorchester yesterday. Her injuries are not life-threatening. At first, police thought it was intentional because who could be such a bad shot that they'd miss and hit an obviously pregnant woman? Oh, and she was on her way to the doctor's office when it happened.

--But wait, there's more! Another crazy chase scene unfolded yesterday afternoon in Charlestown and wound up closing a ramp at Leverett Circle. The driver, whom police spotted engaged in a drug exchange, went hog wild: "He then made a U-turn in the Tip O'Neill Tunnel and entered the onramp to I-93 South at Leverett Circle going the wrong way." The driver crashed into a taxi cab at the Leverett Connector, and a police officer and the taxi driver went to the hospital.

--In less COPS-worthy news, Harvard University is asking that charges be dropped in the case of four students arrested for protesting FBI director Robert Mueller's talk at the IOP. The Crimson says that the police report got some of the facts of the incident wrong and that the students weren't warned before they were removed.

Image of the perp from WCVB. We went with it because it's an image of an image, and this guy deserves to be all over the news.