With L'Affaire Sharpton, L'Affaire Duck Hunt, and L'Affaire Hair, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney is building quite a national reputation. It may not be the reputation he wants, but we think it might be time to start a weekly roundup of Mitt's exploits as he runs for president.

--Romney claims that he's found religion – of sorts – when it comes to abortion. Even though he was pro-choice, and everyone knows he's pro-choice, and his wife donated to Planned Parenthood (what she does with her money is her business, by the way), he's saying he's against abortion now. At least Giuliani is showing a little gumption and finally admitting he's pro-choice.

--He's really aiming for the big, juicy targets of abortion and guns. When it comes to guns, Romney wants to expand the military. Given the fact that the current administration grossly underestimated the needs in Iraq, it seems that Romney has learned for George Bush's failures.

--Mitt's going to go on 60 Minutes to talk about his ambitions and chase after that right-leaning vote. And he's also going to reassure the nation that he may be Mormon, but he doesn't go in for that icky polygamy thing. On the subject of gay marriage, Romney also tells Mike Wallace, "This isn't just some temporary convenience here on Earth, but we're people that are designed to live together as male and female and we're gonna have families."

--But, if we were someone considering Romney, we'd be way more alarmed about his enjoyment of Battlefield Earth by Scientologist L. Ron Hubbard than by his Mormon beliefs.

--Didja note all the "L'Affaire"? Well, we like to throw in some gratuitous French when discussing Romney. He talked trash about France's morals recently. But, just so you know, he lived in France and speaks French.

Image mashup of Mitt, Mitt's glorious locks, and the Just for Men logo by Caroline Roberts.