MittWatch: Toothiness Edition

Sure, former Massachusetts governor and aspiring Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney tries to talk tough about boosting the military and creating a "double Gitmo," but people tend to get hung up on his pretty face. A satire in the Metro by Elliott Kalan spoofed the interest people have in his looks by saying, "Currently, each major party has a handsome man in the running: Democrat John Edwards and Republican Mitt Romney. The handsome bloc will inevitably throw its support behind one of these fine-looking fellows. But which one?"

Romney is good-looking, and but there's something unnerving about it. Kalan got it right when he said Romney "possesses the striking bearing of a corporate vice-president who marries his secretary." He's a little glassy, a little too well-groomed. He needs some mussing. He needs a little more rugged. Even Edwards, the "Breck Girl" of the Democratic party, has a little rugged.

The Globe also caught on to the unnerving brand of hotness in the Romney family in its feature about the five Romney brothers' blog. Author Peter Canellos mentioned how attractive the family was, but that handsomeness had some quirks. He described them as "the five toothy Romney boys" and "handsome couch potatoes." We look at the above image of Mitt and his five sons, and we have flashbacks of Village of the Damned because they seem so similar.

The Romney men aren't the only weirdly hot Romneys. On 60 Minutes, Romney raved about his wife, Ann, calling her a "babe" and saying that he was worried he'd lose her to someone else: "You get all these Mormons out there with strict prohibition against premarital sex, and they're young and they're attractive, the hormones work very well and people decide it's time to get married." Why doesn't he just pull Ann into the room and make out with her a la Al Gore and get it over with?

Image of Mitt Romney and his five sons from the Five Brothers blog. Their orthodontist must be a millionaire!