MittWatch: One Rival Smited, A Few More to Go

We're wondering if Romney asks a higher power to smite his enemies. Rudy Giuliani's campaign stoked Mormon Fear by sending out a release linking the Mormon's candidacy to a weird prophecy about a Mormon riding in on a white horse. During the Republican debate, lightning struck and cut out the sound while Giuliani was speaking. The photo above shows Romney aiming a finger at Giuliani 'cuz he probably thought the Lord was pulling through.

--Number two on Romney's smiting list is the usual suspect - John McCain. McCain seems to be in a fight with everyone, especially over the immigration bill, but he got in a hearty dig at Romney: "To want the office so badly that you would intentionally make our country's problems worse might prove you can read a poll or take a cheap shot, but it hardly demonstrates presidential leadership." Meow! These two just need to have a Jell-O wrestling match and get it over with.

--And then there's smiting-list entry number three, a guy who was once the Republicans' best buddy who is now anathema - President George W. Bush. Romney and his fellow debaters are doing their best to distance themselves from Bush's epic screwups. Romney didn't come out and call Bush an idiot, but he said, "There has been the perception that we have not been as open and participative with other nations as is our normal approach."

Let's translate the Mitt-Speak: "Other nations think we're a bunch of assholes. If I made the nations get along during the Olympics, then I can fix it!"

--Let's not forget smiting-list entry number four - gay people. In New Hampshire, a gay woman eloquently requested of Romney, "I wish you could explain to me more, why if we are sending our troops over to fight for liberty and justice for all throughout this country, why not for me? Why not for my family?"

Romney responded, "I'm delighted that you have a family and you're happy with your family. That's the American way." But he said he wasn't going to change his mind. Again, let's translate the Mitt-Speak: "You may be raising your kids right, but, if you get married, I won't be president. And that's the end of that."

Before wrapping up the Mitt-Watch, we should give a shout-out to WBZ' Jon Keller, who said of Romney: "When he’s nervous, he talks too fast. When he talks too fast, he sounds like Ron Popeil hustling the last batch of pocket fishermen." The comparison is apt - we all know Romney can be a slick salesman, and we can totally imagine him saying, "But wait, there's more!"

Photograph of Romney and Giuliani by Elise Amendola/AP.