Boston Blotter: Step Away From the Onions

--We're starting with the comic relief because, well, the rest ain't pretty. The Northeastern University Crime Log reports a man who up and peed all over a stack of onions at the Symphony Market. What did the onions do to him?

Naturally, the manager took umbrage, and the offender happened to leave his Northeastern ID behind. NUPD tracked the peeing perp down at his residence hall. The Symphony Market manager must be a nice guy – he didn't file charges, and the student paid for the urine-brined onions.

--A woman from New Hampshire had the worst luck imaginable when she took her car to a Haverhill car wash. She got out to dry her car, and, according to the AP – which we're quoting because this story is way too weird – "a car left Route 125, jumped a retaining wall, careened through a parking lot and struck her."

Robin Young died in the accident. The driver, Marie Pigaga, has not been charged, but we'd like to know the full story – how did that car skip over a retaining wall and plow through the car wash? WCVB tried to find out, and Pigaga didn’t do herself any favors by speeding away from them. One neighbor volunteered the information that Pigaga has a "lead foot."

--A man was shot early this morning in the Theater District, at the corner of Stuart and Tremont Street. He was taken to the hospital, and he is in critical condition. Another person was shot in the arm in Dorchester last night.

--Despite a messy trial that involved bungling on the part of the medical examiner, twin brothers 23-year-old Daniel and Peter McGuane of Ayer were charged with involuntary manslaughter for beating 19-year-old Kelly Proctor to death in 2005.

The defense tried to get the brothers acquitted because of the medical examiner's mistakes, which is nothing new in Massachusetts, but the prosecutors successfully argued that the beating still killed Proctor.

--A mother who disposed of her newborn by putting it in the trash back in January has been arrested and charged with involuntary manslaughter.

28-year-old Allissa Pugh allegedly threw out her baby, which was later discovered in a trash truck. Pugh said the baby was stillborn, but further investigation revealed that the baby died of "injuries sustained around the time of birth."

All charges alleged until proven under law.