No, silly! Not that kind of junk! Do you have a velvet Elvis that you don't think is getting enough attention? Or an especially vulgar Granny Fanny lawn ornament? Don't worry - the Brockton Rox wants to know about your so-called "weird junk" as part of a promotion it's running along with 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

On Tuesday, August 14, the Rox will gather the finalists at Campanelli Stadium to "explain" their junk. (Bostonist assumes that any reproductions of the Christmas Story leg lamp will be immediately disqualified.) The person with the weirdest junk will get a half load of junk hauled off by 1-800-GOT-JUNK. Presumably they'll let you keep your "weird junk" and get rid of the ordinary trash.

The submission page at the Rox site offers some sample junk, including an armadillo sheriff and a lamp with a saxophone as a base. WBZ covered the promotion and talked to a guy who somehow wound up with a gigantic pink flamingo, and the Rox staff themselves have a life-size cutout of romance-novel icon and "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spokesface Fabio.

Our local minor-league baseball teams are nothing if not imaginative. The Lowell Spinners put out a James McNeill Whistler bobblehead and held a game with politically correct announcing (as in, "baseperson" instead of "baseman").

Image of a life-size Fabio cutout for sale at incrediblegifts.com. Yes, you can have a life-size Fabio for just $29.99.