Want a picture of what Red Sox Nation feels like this morning? The best way we can describe it is the scene in Airplane! when Elaine gets on the PA, tells the passengers to remain calm, then asks, "Oh, by the way, is there anyone on board who can fly a plane?" The next scene is in the cabin with passengers going berzerk and men swordfighting in the aisle. That's what being a Red Sox fan feels like this morning.

Looks like we picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

What should have been a solid step on Curt Schilling's road to recovery turned into a disaster movie in no time yesterday. Hideki Okajima let an Oriole on base in the eighth, and Terry Francona summoned Eric Gagne, less than 48 hours after Gagne entered Red Sox infamy. Miguel Tejada promptly greeted Gagne with a 2-run game-tying home run. No win for Schill. No rest for Gagne, just an unfortunate pun-ready last name.

The Red Sox could still have recovered; they put a man on second in the ninth, and a man on first in the tenth. Or a home run (something they didn't get all weekend) would have given the Sox the lead and turned matters over to Papelbon. Instead, they sent Kyle Snyder out in the 10th. Snyder gave up two singles, but got Tejada to pop up. Then threw a pitch that bounced away from Varitek, allowing Nick Markakis to take second. Second and third, one out. Do you walk Kevin Millar, setting up the force play and taking the bat out of the hands of a guy you know is clutch? Or do you pitch to him.

They pitched to him. Game over, man.

So now we have the Yankees just four back (thanks for pitching in, Cleveland, really appreciate the help) and a high-priced shell-shocked relief pitcher who borderline can't leave the house for the next few days. The postgame consensus on NESN is that Gagne is trying too hard to fit in and blow everyone away, and his woes aren't mechanical. The postgame consensus at Bostonist is that our all-time favorite French-Canadian Sox reliever is still, and will remain for some time, Rheal Cormier.

The rest of the sports world is going according to the script. David Beckham didn't play, and the Revolution took advantage, beating LA 1-0. Tiger Woods won. Dennis and Callahan won't actually reunite today.

But we can't focus on anything else today. The Devil Ray series starting tonight has been upgraded to "must-win" status. Tim Wakefield starts against James Shields at Fenway this evening. Now we have to find someone who not only can hold a lead in the eighth, but who didn't have fish for dinner.