America's Next Top Model Casting Today

Attention tall, slender women with dreams of superstardom! If you are also unusually flexible, comfortable in awkward situations, and don't mind getting your fug on every once in a while, then we have the perfect job for you! Wait … that doesn't sound quite legit. But you should know that America's Next Top Model Cycle 1,001 will be casting at Felt from noon to 4:00 pm today.

Actually, it's Cycle 9, as they call it in reality-TV lingo. America's Next Top Model has been on the air for so long for many reasons. For starters, it is a gas and a half with the petty fights and outlandish model challenges. And, if you win, you could end up just like the first cycle winner, Adrianne Curry, who eventually posed for Playboy and married a cast member of the Brady Bunch. Last we heard, Greg (Barry Williams) was still available, so America's Next Top Model could be the ticket to a Brady's heart.

But the big reason we're promoting the auditions is the host, Miss Tyra Banks herself. Her awe-inspiring dressing-down of a smartass contestant won raves for the best one-sided catfight in history. In her honor, we present the video of the incident: