We don't need to tell you what happened. The Red Sox blew the White Sox off the face of the earth, then arrived in New York and started playing like a bunch of corpses. At least yesterday was an afternoon game, so we could do other things with our evening.

Amid the carnage, we have to salute Curt Schilling, who pitched pretty well, considering he really looks like he's going on fumes these days. He gave up only six hits, but two of those were gopher balls to Robinson Cano. Meanwhile, the Sox' bats were doing their Weird-Al-style Styx parody, "Come Flail Away", as Chien-Ming Wang took a no-hitter into the seventh inning (thank you, Mike Lowell, thank you, thank you).

Of course, it wouldn't be a Sox-Yankee series without some controversies. Terry Francona got a visit from the MLB Brute Squad on Wednesday to make sure he was wearing an actual Red Sox jersey under his MLB-authorized Red Sox pullover sweater. We're suprised they didn't just send Frank Drebin into the dugout to frisk him.

And if you've been worried the last few seasons about the dwindling number of honest-to-God villains on the Yankee roster, yesterday should help. Joba Chamberlain, the Yankees' pitcher of the future, with your 100-MPH stuff and pinpoint control...come on down! His pinpoint control sent two fastballs whizzing at Kevin Youkilis' head, getting the wunderkind ejected (it's hard to see why he'd throw two fastballs at someone's head protecting a 5-0 lead, but we're not interested in the motivations of our villians). He should get a warm, memorable reception at Fenway in a couple of weeks from the fans who aren't too busy trying to get their signs on TV or killing the clock till "Sweet Caroline" comes on.

So now we have to count on the combination of Tim Wakefield and the unexpectedly-dangerous Orioles to right the ship. Some fellow named Radhames Liz will the get the start for Baltimore. But NOBODY panic. OK? This will happen.

The Patriots finished their preseason with a ho-hum win over the Giants. Bob Ryan looks at Matt Cassel, his strange career, and the strange twilight zone that the backup QBs of the league inhabit.

Picture from Amazon.