Boston Blotter: You Forgot the Fabric Softener

--There are times when a police officer must stifle laughter. And yesterday had to be one of those times when police investigated an alarm that had gone off in a Dorchester house. The incident caused quite a stir, as the owner told police there were guns in the house.

When a SWAT team forced its way in, they discovered 41-year-old Laura Buchman - in the clothes dryer. She must have smelled spring fresh. She's been charged with Breaking & Entering.

--Darren Killeen of Boston was not "eating good in the neighborhood" when a K-9 got done with him. Killeen swiped someone's credit card at the Applebee's in the South Bay Mall. Wearing a chef's white coat, Killeen walked up to customers who had laid down a credit card for paying the bill. He had no problem getting the card, but then the patrons realized something was fishy when he headed for the door.

Killeen took off, and Tiburon the K-9 and his officer went after him. Killeen hit the officer in the face with his elbow, and at that point the officer sicced Tiburon on him. Also on the blotter, a foiled break-in in Jamaica Plain.

--Two women allegedly sank to the bottom of the blotter barrel by training a 4-year-old girl to steal. While at Kmart in Assembly Square in Somerville, Tarshesha Ross and April Robinson gave the girl items, and the girl put them into a stroller. A security guard intercepted them as they were leaving the store. The items cost $61.13 in total, but the amount of dignity lost in the endeavor cannot be estimated.

The Somerville News added that April Robinson, who tried to give the police a false name, already has 12 outstanding warrants against her.

--Speaking of Somerville, police are looking for a "16- to 19-year-old clean cut black male" who held up a business on Broadway and also sexually assaulted one of the employees on Sunday morning. The man was last seen running toward Sullivan Square and is "5-9 to 5-10, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, [and] light color jeans."

--Police are saying that the man who was shot to death at the Franklin Hill housing development, Calvin Alexander, of Providence, was the same man who held up a bank in Quincy. The Quincy robbery was Alexander's fourth.

All charges - and scents - alleged until proven under law. Image of dryer sheets from foodservicedirect.com.