September 20, 2007
Sports Redux: Assume Crash Positions
Earlier this season, when the Red Sox suffered a 2- or 3-game losing streak, we suggested that the mood in Red Sox Nation (a term we promise never to use again) was like the scene in Airplane! when Elaine got on the PA and asked if there was anyone on board who knew how to fly a plane.
What movie scene defines Sox fans now? We've got to go with the one near the end of Deep Impact, where Tea Leoni goes out to the beach to spend her last moments with her estranged father, and they clutch one another helplessly as the mile-high tsunami races towards the Delaware shore. That's what being a Red Sox fan feels like this morning.
Because the lead is one and a half. The lead that used to be fourteen and a half. The Red Sox' superkids, Buchholz and Papelbon, were victimized last night by the suddenly-unstoppable Toronto bats. Buchholz gave up the go-ahead run on a throwing error in the fifth, then Papelbon was taken deep for a grand slam in the 8th by Russ Adams. First the Canadian dollar reaches near 1:1, now this. Where's that Axis of Evil list again?
Meanwhile, the Yankees have won 453 out of their last 454 to close the gap. They host the Jays next, while the Red Sox will try not to out-suck Tampa Bay. Trickier than it looks, since Ortiz is hurting, Manny's still out there somewhere, and when your offense revolves around J.D. Drew, you've got problems. And Okajima's getting a vacation to keep his arm from falling off. And, worse, Gagne is reportedly in Florida with the rest of the team.
Big picture-wise, the bad news is we don't have the best, or even second best, record in the AL, which would mean kiss home-field advantage good-bye. The good news is, Detroit is falling at a nearly-equal pace, which means we may not be able to help but fall into the playoffs.
The world in Deep Impact got all their grim news from President Morgan Freeman. Maybe if you read that last paragraph in his voice, it will help. Oceans rise. Standings fall. Hope survives. Maybe.
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I'm not scared about the Sox ongoing collapse. I don't feel impending doom. I'm pissed.
I'm envisioning Animal House and Dean Wormer when he says "I hate those guys."
Gagne is a bad, bad man. He must be stopped from exposing his inner Schiraldi. And Manny needs to pop an Aleve, cut his hair and PLAY BALL. J.D. Drew, well, I can't describe what he did in the outfield the other night except to say it must have made Dewey cry like a little girl.
Francona makes my hair hurt.
They seem to be running away when they should fight back.
I have two suggestions. First of all, a remake of Welcome Back Kapler. He says he wants to play again. Great, Gabe. Meet us in Tampa.
Secondly, Beckett should hit the first batter with his first pitch and then yell something vulgar at the batter.
Guys, please get it together.
I agree with MJG. I'm mad.
I have come to the realization that the Red Sox are simply the stupidest team in the history of professional sports in America. Francona keeps Gagne in Tuesday night in the 8th to blow a 2-1 lead (why? this is his 4th blown game since being acquired). Why not bring in Papelbon who hadn’t pitched since Friday? Then Wednesday, when trailing 2-1 he does bring in Papelbon in the 8th. Why then and not the night before when they could have won? Anyway, they lose again. When asked about it, Francona said that he needed to see what Gagne can give him in the playoffs. What ?!?!?!? What in blue blazes is he talking about? Shouldn’t you get INTO the playoffs or clinch SOMETHING before you experiment? And isn’t a walk followed by a single and followed by another walk (with none of the pitches even close to the strike zone) to load the bases enough to let you know that the experiment isn’t working? I guess not, cause he left him in to walk in the tying run and then, inexplicably still in the game, give up a double for the go-ahead run. It is just plain stupid.
And where is Manny? Another September, another Manny disappearance. By all accounts he is hitting the ball a mile in batting practice. He can’t pinch hit one at-bat for Bobby Kielty in the 9th on Friday? Mickey Mantle plays in a World Series game with a hole in his leg, and Manny can’t drag his rear end out for one at-bat in a pennant race?
Friday night the pitching and managing was the worst. Matsuzaka must have pitched to about 40 batters, and of those, I believe only 5 or 6 had a first pitch strike (I counted after the first few batters). He was almost always behind in the count. Francona left him in three batters too long. Then Lopez gets 2 out in the 7th and so he pulls him, a lefty, to bring in a lefty, to face a lefty. Why pull him? Then in the 8th, Giambi hits a long shot for a home run, 7-3. Cano hits a long home run, 7-4, and I’m thinking “Okajima doesn’t have it tonight and he’s liable to implode now. Pull him.” And he didn’t. With September call-ups he has about 12 guys in the bullpen, including a guy who pitched a no-hitter so why not use him. He didn’t. As expected, Okajima imploded. He walks Cabrera and gives up a ringing double to Demon, er, I mean Damon. Then Francona finally pulls him out to bring in Papelbon who, having been rushed in, gives up single to Jeter (7-5), double to Abreu (7-7) and single to A-Rod (8-7) before settling down and getting the first out of the inning. 7 straight batters reached. Argghhh! It’s hard to blame Papelbon, since the kid has been good all year, but the manager put his team in position to lose and the manager’s job should be to put his team in position to win.
I will grant you that Francona managed well for a week and half in October 2004, but even then he made the stupid move of bringing Pedro in in the 7th inning of Game 7 versus NY when he didn't have to. Why? To get the Yankee fans who were sitting on their hands back in the game to chant "Who's your daddy"? To keep Pedro from pitching Game 1 of the World Series? It was stupid then. It is stupid still looking back on it three years later.
All year I have been saying that they are not that good. I stand by that. On the other hand, they can at least try to be smart.