Boston Unprepared for a Terror Attack, Totally Prepared for Wacky College Kids

After the swift response to MIT student Star Simpson's infamous arrival at Logan Airport, the united front of law enforcement against the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and the mailing of empty pill boxes to residents, imagine our surprise upon hearing that Massachusetts would be unprepared in the event of a terror attack.

Boston proves that just because you're easily frightened doesn't mean you can protect yourself if something really bad happened. Governor Deval Patrick's team is requesting the following: "Three large-scale evacuation centers, a statewide text-messaging alert system, inspections of all smaller chemical facilities."

The part of the plan that seems like the best idea, given recent events, is the plan to improve "information sharing" among first responders. That way, someone who recognizes a Mooninite can dial into everyone else and tell them, "OK, look, it's just a stupid Cartoon Network thing" so that way the city doesn't have to find out from the Internet.