--Now, this didn't happen in Boston, but, as the Sports Redux mentioned earlier, a Massachusetts man and Red Sox fan was attacked by two men in New York. The men had asked him if he was loyal to the Red Sox.

Carlos Ortez, 25, of Quincy, is now in the intensive care unit at Westchester Medical Center with multiple facial fractures. He was in New York to work on a construction project for a Manhattan hotel.

The two men who attacked Ortez aren't even from New York. They are Duane Somers, 32, of Huntingdon, Pa., and Edward McConaughey, 42, of Orbisonia, Pa. They were arrested and charged with second-degree felony assault. What a pair of assholes. Alleged assholes.

--Ricardo Kirby, 20, of Marlborough or Ashland (depends on whom you ask), went the distance to hide the crack he was dealing from police yesterday. When he was about to be arrested, Kirby proceeded to swallow the crack he had on him. Police couldn't estimate the amount because he managed to swallow a lot of it, but he "spit out about 7 grams of crack wrapped in plastic."

--Two men became enraged after getting bounced from the Draft Bar in Allston early this morning. When they got bounced, they threatened to come back with a gun. So, when they came back. the staff called the cops, who arrested Thomas D. Ferran, 20, of Allston, and Yiga Moses, 18, of Boston, down the street. Also on the blotter--another loud party in Mission Hill drew the notice of officers. Five young drinkers were arrested, two of them underage.

--The woman who allegedly slashed the neck of a baby and then helped send the wrong man to jail for the crime was arraigned in Suffolk Superior Court Thursday. Bail for Mabel Rojas, 20, of Roslindale, was set at $500,000.

All charges alleged until proven under law. Image of a genuinely fug Yankee cap from the Debbie Clemens Collection, originally published in the Sports Redux.