We've praised the Celtics up and down over the course of 14 games. Given the fact that they won - again - on Friday night, this time defeating Shaq and the Miami Heat, we're going to give them the Belichick once-over. You know, give 'em a taste of what Randy Moss and Tom Brady deal with every week.

You guys feeling good? Feeling confident because you beat Miami by 10 points? A 95-85 win, fellas. That's one point away from a single-digit margin of victory. Are you satisfied with that? 'Cause you've got Cleveland coming to town on Sunday, Green Guys, and they're going to run all over you with that type of play.

You had a 28-point lead in this game. Twenty. Eight. Points. Some good plays, a couple of three-pointers in the third quarter - sloppy defense for whomever was supposed to be guarding Jason Williams - and they had you sweating. Only trailing you by seven. SEVEN. Inexcusable. That's the second time you came close to giving up a lead to the Heat.

And forcing 24 turnovers might make you feel good, but why did you only convert 33 points on them? Shoulda been at least 48.

You laughing, Pierce? Where were you? Sure, it's easy to rack up the score and put in most of your points in the first quarter, but how about when it's on the line? You only scored 9 of your 27 points after the start of the game. Oh, and don't you roll your eyes, Mr. Allen! You're calling your team's play "a little passive." PASSIVE DOESN'T WIN PLAYOFFS. PASSION WINS PLAYOFFS.

Hey, Garnett. You're clearly the team leader, with your 23 points. So how about you act like a leader right now and lead your team in some drills? We want UCLAs. NOW.

You'll have time to rest this summer. Now, where's our hoodie?

-- Dear World: Tom Brady has a message for you. Randy Moss isn't a slacker.

Now keep gearing up for Monday night.

Image by flickr user(s) Vicki & Chuck Rogers