Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is gaining appeal among Republicans thanks to his hard-right views, his ability to lose weight, and Chuck Norris. Obviously, this has former Massachusetts governor and presidential aspirant Mitt Romney thoroughly freaked out because Romney has spent boodles of money and has less to show for it. All Huckabee had to do was lose weight and gain an action star. Hence, Romney has unleashed an attack ad.

However, we think Romney should go toe-to-toe with Huckabee and get him where it hurts. He clearly needs his own powerful endorsement, and the Osmonds ain't cutting it (sorry, Marie, but you didn't win Dancing With the Stars). He needs his own action hero.

Are there any more right-wing action stars with a dash of irony out there? What is Steven Seagal up to now? Or Jean-Claude Van Damme? Sylvester Stallone? Even if he can't get an action star, he needs to find someone who strikes the right note of self-mockery, so it can't be someone too famous.

And then it hit us. Mitt Romney needs Karl Malone. Yes, that's right--Karl Malone, NBA star formerly of the Utah Jazz. Utah. Conservative. Not an action star, but definitely a household name. He even campaigned for Orrin Hatch. Like the Huckabee/Norris mashup, the pairing will prompt thoughts of "What's Karl Malone doing hanging out with Romney? Maybe I should look him up!"

Here's a video of Malone instructing mascots for an NBA commercial. Consider it his Romney screen test:

YouTube video posted by amox309.