Roger Clemens is an unhappy man today. At least, his lawyer is. Attorney Rusty Hardin responded to Roger's prominence in the Mitchell Report by saying, "He is left with no meaningful way to combat what he strongly contends are false allegations." We remember something in the report about Mitchell requesting an interview with Clemens and being turned down. Perhaps that was a mistake.

For Clemens and the rest of the names on the list, it's going to be a while before everyone can settle down and figure out exactly what to do about the situation. Bud Selig has to put his brain to work (shudder) and decide if anyone will be suspended, which will open a major can of worms from the Players' Union. Bud claimed yesterday he hadn't even read the full report. He's a busy guy.

We keep hearing rumors about a "Page 2" list of additional players who might be fingered (or as one wag put it, "guys who weren't stupid enough to write checks"). But there's enough of a mess for now. Gene Wojciechowski has a good summary of the whole fandango; Dan Shaughnessy, leader of the Red Sox Hater Nation, leaps into an aisle seat on the "George Mitchell is too cozy with the Sox" bandwagon. Cranky old man Phil Mushnick says you could have picked any schmuck off the street and he would have handled things better than Selig.

The Bruins finally got a home game, but the miles piled up on their December tour caught up with them, as they were exhausted and completely overwhelmed by Jersey 3-1. Marc Savard scored the lone Bruin goal, and Alex Auld suffered his first loss with the B's. They host Columbus tomorrow; the Celtics host Milwaukee tonight.

If you're in the office alone today and need something to kill a few minutes, ESPN's Page 2 has the story behind some of Bill Belichick's most notable handshakes. And you should totally check out the story of the gumball helmet guru.