The New England Confectionary Company (NECCO) has announced the new phrases that will be printed on its hearts. This year's themes include weather ("Melt My Heart" and "Get My Drift") and animals ("Wild Life" and "Nature Lover").
Regarding the animal theme, we dare them to put "Doggy Style" on a heart! You know that someone at Team NECCO thought it and then swiftly pushed it out of his or her mind.
Weather also gave rise to some brilliant ideas: "Six to Ten Inches," "The Wet Sticky Stuff," "Blowing Up From the South," "Damp Conditions," "Warm Showers," and the single word "Raw." Suddenly, "wintry mix" takes on a whole new meaning.
Once Bostonist got to thinking about naughty words to slap on innocent candy hearts, it became difficult to stop. "Eat me" quickly came up, along with "Ho Bag," "Poke Me," the memorable "SUPERPoke Me," and the even more memorable "Throw a Sheep at Me."
Vidalia Shiraz, Lisa Scanlon, and Kerry Skemp contributed to this post. Take that, Valentine's Day!
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I'm guessing that anyone named after both an onion AND a red wine would surpass any lame attempts on my part to crack wise about foodstuffs.