Sports Redux: One Awkward Phone Call

Thanks to the Freedom Of Information laws and the PATRIOT Act, we were able to petition the federal government to listen in on last night's weekly Manning Family phone call. Here's a sample:

E: Hey, Peyton, it's me.
P: Oh, hi, Eli. What's up?
E: Well, I don't know if you saw it, but we beat the Cowboys last night. It was pretty awesome.
P: Yeah, I saw. Congratulations.
E: Thanks, big brother! You know, everyone always thought that you were so much better than me, but now we're both in the League Championship! We could play in the Superbowl!
P: [silence]
E: Letting it sink in, huh? Who do you think Dad will root for?
P: Um, Eli...
E: What?
P: Did you watch our game? We lost, dude. We're not going to the Superbowl.
E: [confused] But I thought you guys just had to get through the Patriots and you'd be there. Did the Patriots beat you? They beat me a few weeks ago.
P: [suddenly angry] We didn't GET to the Patriots, Eli! The Chargers beat us! The Chargers!
[long uncomfortable pause]
E: Does that mean Dad will be rooting for me?

Yep, if you thought that Eli would be the Last Manning Standing this year, go pick up your prize. The much-anticipated Peyton-Brady showdown isn't gonna happen, thanks to an injury-riddled but spirited performance by the Chargers. Gates, Tomlinson, Rivers all went down...but somehow, so did the Colts.

We imagine Coach Belichick spent the hours between midnight and 1 PM drawing up plans for Indy; now it's back to the drawing board. Though San Diego sure doesn't look like the same team that came into Foxboro in September and got eviscerated (who can forget the memorable Norv Turner 15-Play Plan?), we have every confidence that Coach Bill, Tom's focus and the 15-degree weather will turn the Chargers back into pumpkins next Sunday.

Meanwhile, Eli and the Giants were taking advantage of a Cowboy team that was apparently being coached by Jessica Simpson, commiting stupid penalties, dropping passes and showing textbook clock mismanagement. Our popcorn's ready, Terrell, can we eat it yet?

The Bruins are off until Thursday; the Celtics host Washington tonight. We don't know if the Pistons snickered last week when the C's lost to Charlotte, but they're not snickering after being blown off the court by the hapless Knicks. Yikes.

Bill Kostroun/AP photo of the Manning boys.