----------BEGIN TRANSMISSION----------

Gumshoes:

Listen up. We have an important mission for you.

Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots, is missing. New England media is asking questions. Fans are gettin' nervous. It's up to you to find him.

The dossier: Thomas Brady. Grew up in California. Attended Michigan. Plays in New England. Cavorts in New York. Likes knit caps, Stetson, white flowers, cowboy boots, and throwing touchdown passes. Keep your eyes peeled for a leggy blonde with beachy highlights - she might know somethin'. Same goes for the stern lookin' fella who wears hoodies. He's clearly hiding somethin' from us. We can see it in his eyes.

If found, report back to the following: 1) us, 2) the local media, 3) Robert Kraft. You have 60 minutes to complete this mission - after that, Red Sox tickets go on sale and all bets are off.

If you succeed, you will be handsomely rewarded.* If you fail, the hoodie guy will give ya a stern talking-to and that Manning kid might wind up announcing that he's going to Disney World.

Get it done, cubs. Your football team is counting on you.

Oh, and here's a tip: if we were you, we'd first look in the Patriots trainers' room. Seems that no one tries to poke a head into that place to see what's going on.

-----------END TRANSMISSION------------

In Friday night news, the Old Celtics (otherwise known as the Minnesota Timberwolves) were determined to show the New Celtics that they still knew how to play on the old parquet. And although Boston walked away with the win, the team with the best record in the NBA beat the team with the worst record by only a single point, 87-86.

The game-winner was nailed by Kendrick Perkins (21 points overall) with 16.6 seconds left, and Kevin Garnett tipped the ball away from Sebastian "Remember Me?" Telfair to prevent any chance at a buzzer-beater miracle shot.

Checking in with the former guys in green: Telfair finished the night with 18 points, while Al Jefferson and Ryan Gomes (we still miss those guys) added 15 and 13.
Mashup by Victoria Welch.