Sports Redux: Scheduling Conflicts

Here's something we never thought of: the Patriots' (hopeful) victory parade would have to be on Tuesday, thus conflicting with the Massachusetts primary. The team won't be back on Monday, and most of them have to go to the Pro Bowl in Hawaii on Wednesday. So Tuesday (and not AFTER the Pro Bowl, which would just be crazy talk) it is.

"We have to have a plan," saidMayor Menino. "I'm just thinking about it; I don't want to jinx anybody." So if the Pats lose, you know where to lay the blame. Complicating matters is the fact that there has to be a police officer at every polling place all day long, which could mean the Staties have to come in to town to watch the parade - er, perform crowd control - instead of the local guys. Lest we have anarchy.

Professional busybodies are already worrying about how the election would affect voting patterns, in this first MA primary to mean anything in forever. We don't think the Pats fan demographic breaks toward one candidate or another, so whatever.

But there is a vote out there that demands our attention. Our friends at Gothamist are asking, who's the hotter Super Bowl quarterback? Apparently, sophisticated chic New York is swooning over their resident huckleberry. For an extra chuckle, the New York Magazine article references our boys as the "geographically indistinct New England Patriots". YOUR TEAM PLAYS IN NEW JERSEY. That is all. Go over there and vote.

For what it's worth, the Giants have a teamwide flu bug and puked their way to Arizona. Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy profiles fun-lovin' Coach Bill, while Gene Wojciechowski remembers Bill's first stint as a head coach.

The Celtics try to bounce back at Miami tonight. We'd feel sorry for South Florida sports fans: the Heat are taking bumbling to a new level, the Dolphins were pathetic, and the Marlins have a lower payroll than the Fresh Pond CVS. But it's 77 degrees there, so we'll spare the sympathy. The Bruins host Nashville, where we're not going to bother looking up the weather.

Underrated '80s single cover from Wikipedia.