Today is truly a day to end all days: Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday unite as one, to reveal America for what it truly is: the Nation of the SuperFat (and the grammatically illicit double-colon sentence as well!). Bostonist encourages all of its readers to vote prior to partying (a couple of drinks might make you think Michael Cera is a great write-in vote--actually, he totally would be), and to party like it's 2009 and we've got a fresh-faced (and perhaps long socks-wearing) new prez. Below, a couple of answers (courtesy of the Elections Division) to the difficult questions that arise on this fattest of super Tuesdays (or superest of Fat Tuesdays?).

Where do I vote?

This handy-dandy elections information site lets you find out where to vote by simply entering your street address into the internet doohickey. We recommend starting this process before you start drinking, so as to help you remember where you live. You can also call your local clerk to find out where to vote.

Do I have to show ID?

Yes, if you registered to vote by mail on or after January 1, 2003, did not include identification with your mail-in form, and have not voted in a federal election since that time, you will have to show ID in order to cast your ballot. Come prepared with ID that includes "your name and the address at which you are registered to vote, for example: a current and valid driver’s license, photo identification, current utility bill, bank statement, paycheck, government check, or other government document showing your name and address." If you don't have ID, you might run into problems, which brings us to the next question...

What if I have issues?

We can't help you with all of your issues--just the voting ones. If the polling people give you a hard time about voting, or can't find your registration, you need to know your rights. If there are problems finding your information, you can have election officers check the inactive voter's list to see if you are registered in another precinct. If no record of your registration can be found, you can either go to your city/town hall and try to establish your registered voter status, or cast a provisional ballot. This requires identification and a provisional ballot affirmation of your status as a registered voter residing in the precinct. Provisional ballots will be evaluated after the election and counted if you can be shown to be a registered voter.

What if I don't speak or read English?

Well, then this sentence is probably not very helpful to you, but you still have the right to vote with assistance from a companion or a polling place staffer. We do recommend memorizing the candidates' names so nobody can trick you into voting for Mittens.

Who's going to win?

Here's the New York Times Massachusetts primary preview, for whatever it's worth. According to polling (not actual votes counted from today), Obama's barely edging Clinton, while Romney has a fair lead over McCain, probably due mostly to name recognition.

After the jump, the really important info: where to party after you vote.

Mardi Gras beads image from flickr user http://flickr.com/photos/monceau/

So where's the party?

Boston's got a couple of Fat Tuesday celebrations going on, including some madness at Dick's Last Resort that starts at 4:30 for Friends of Harpoon. The Beehive offers New Orleans-inspired music from the Nat Simpkins/Henri Smith band and authentic Fat Tuesday food including shrimp etouffee and king cake. A portion of the proceeds to go the Tipitina foundation, which is working to rebuild musical culture in New Orleans. Emerson College's WERS radio station is also putting on a community-minded Fat Tuesday event benefiting Common Ground and featuring Ryan Montbleu, Sam Kininger Band, Peter Prince and the Johnny Trauma Unit.

If you're more in the political mode and want to watch the primary results come in with all your voting buddies, there are several primary parties going on around the city. Our old pals Drinking Liberally will be at Hong Kong in Cambridge, sippin' some Scorpion bowls as they analyze the Democratic results. Some Hahvahd folks will watch at the JFK Jr. forum; it's probably not open to the public, but what could be more fun than crashing a Harvard gig? Non-Harvard Young Republicans can head to Lir at 7:00 p.m. to cheer on Mitt or Mac (or Huck, perhaps) in victory.

If you know of any other Fat or Super Tuesday parties, put 'em in the comments so we can all celebrate/mourn/drink together!