Great Romances III
Friday, Feb 8 -- Thursday, Feb 14, various times
Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle Street, Cambridge
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Somebody at the Brattle Theatre must have a heart made of sap. The cinema is hosting not one, not two, but six days of romantic films leading up to Valentine's Day. You cannot deal with that much loving. We cannot. So, Bostonist has assembled a quick guide to help you choose the ideal screening for your own romantic situation.

Best Screening to Attend in a Hearse. Don't take a new lover to see Harold and Maude (screening Friday) unless he or she is sullen and aged 18-20. The rest of us find Hal Ashby's 1971 dark comedy prohibitively depressing, even if Cat Stevens does want us to Sing Out.

Best Screening to Attend if You Suspect That Your Lover is Smarter Than You Are. Cover up your shortfall in the intellectual sweepstakes by taking your coodle pie to the Wings of Desire/Beauty and the Beast double-feature (Saturday). But be warned: you have to be able to read English and/or speak both French and German to follow these movies. And an energy drink wouldn't hurt. Leave it to the Germans to put Peter Falk as himself and Nick Cave as himself in the same freaking movie (Wings of Desire).

Best Opportunity to Turn a Heart of Iron into One of Sap. Is your lover a sharp witted, strong willed person who thinks you are lower than dirt/really hot? Introduce him or her to Katherine Hepburn (Adam's Rib; Bringing Up Baby, screening Sunday)! If you can pick up a few tricks from Tracy and Grant by the end of the night, your date might initiate his or her own six-day-long romantic marathon.

Best Flick if Your Date Won't Shut Up About the 80s. There is no 80s teen romance more bizarre than Better Off Dead (screening Monday). If your lover likes French people, John Cusack, and dancing hamburgers, you probably have what Bostonist calls "a keeper."

Best Way to Test Your Date. If your love object likes Amelie, it could go either way. If he or she likes The Science of Sleep, DO NOT PASS GO (Tuesday).

Best Screening if Your Name is Rick. Casablanca (screening Wednesday and Thursday) has always appealed to Bostonist in ways we could never articulate.

*BONUS* Stone Cold Evidence that the Brattle Loves You. The Brattle is screening Billy Wilder's classic film noir Double Indemnity for free on Saturday morning. We had asked for Valentine's chocolate, but this will do.