Representing on Reality TV: Bobby Brown Tears Up Nashville

On the third episode of "Gone Country," Bobby Brown started displaying the eccentric behavior for which he is known. The episode kicks off Brown drinking alcohol for breakfast instead of coffee or tea. Music producer John Rich dragged the cast to a farm, where they were scheduled to do farm-appropriate tasks with "Redneck Woman" singer Gretchen Wilson.

Theoretically, the trip should have sobered Brown up, but maybe all the horse poop and chewing tobacco got to him because, in the words of Carnie Wilson, "[Bobby] just started drinking everything in sight." The crew heads to the Graham Central Station club, where they participate in a cultural exercise of sorts called the "Hick Chick Challenge." One of the games in the challenge involves watermelon spitting, which is as offensive as it sounds. Brown wisely declared, "That's degrading to me," and he slinks away. Meanwhile, American Idol participant Diana DiGarmo declared in her confessional, "I have no idea why Bobby Brown reacted the way he did." Seriously? Does she live under a rock?

While Brown's lack of participation in the "Hick Chick Challenge" is justified, he's clearly plowed. Wilson takes him back to the tour bus and asks, "Can I lay on your lap?" Wilson answers in the negative (understandable), but she tries to help him get his shoes off. He responds to her assistance by farting in her face.

Brown continues to blaze his path through Nashville, picking up a sandwich and not getting anything for anyone else. Then he proceeds to have a conversation with the sandwich. If only sandwiches could talk. That sandwich would have called him an idiot.

It only gets better. Dee Snider shares a room with Bobby Brown, and in the middle of the night Dee Snider is rudely awakened by a vision: "He is walking to my night table--getting his junk out!" The lead singer of Twisted Sister is kind enough to direct Brown to the toilet as he sleepwalks. As of this episode, "Gone Country" has officially turned into "Being Bobby Brown: Nashville."

In other reality-tv news, Biggest Loser is casting for yet another couples season. If you and a family member, friend, or co-worker want to shape up on national television (it's worked for a few locals), stop by Felt on Saturday, February 16, between 10:00 and 6:00 pm.

Screengrab of Bobby Brown holding court with a sandwich from CMT.