Patrick's Hair Don't, and Matsuzaka's Hair Never Ever

What has gotten into the shampoo of two of Massachusetts' best-known figures? One man cut all his hair off, and another is sporting a mullet that would impress even Denise of Survivor: China fame.

First, Deval Patrick is sporting an especially close shave. His hair has never been long, at least as long as the state of Massachusetts has known him, but he's exposing some scalp these days. We're not the only ones who wondered why Patrick shaved it in the winter.

But it's not Deval Patrick who concerns us. Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka could use an encounter with some clippers--hedge clippers, to be precise. Dice-K can clean up well when he wants to, but a mullet looks good on no one.

Red Sox Monster gave Matsuzaka's mullet credit for having "copper streaks and a feathered top," and Eamonn Brennan at AOL Fanhouse knew enough about mullets to deem it of the "European/Asian styled mullet family." Brennan's not far off. Bostonist checked the ultimate mullet resource, mulletsgalore.com (Warning: don't go if you're easily offended), and Matsuzaka definitely has a Euromullet, which is described as "A suave mullet. A swank mullet. An understanding mullet. A considerate mullet. A sensitive mullet. Still a mullet."

Here's the video:

While many men can rock a shaved head--and at least Patrick's exposed noggin reveals no funny bumps--few can rock a mullet, and, sorry to say, Matsuzaka is not pulling it off.

This video of Matsuzaka's arrival at spring training is circulating virally.