Planning a trip down the Northeast Corridor? Leave the Hitachi Magic Wand at home. Or say hello to the Fung Wah.

According to WBZ News, Amtrak officials say that "mobile security teams" are poised to swoop, unannounced, into South Station and other train stations between Boston and D.C. and perform some bag-searching. Here's the proposed procedure:

Randomly-selected passengers will enjoy a few squirmy moments as their carry-on bags are probed with a "special swab" and sniffed by dogs. If anything comes up funky, security officers will rifle through your underpants with their eyeballs. If you refuse the swab 'n' sniff, you can't board the train, but you'll get your money back. (And you'll be sent on your merry way for pancakes at the South Street Diner, right? Um, right.)

Aside from giving people the heebie-jeebies, Amtrak officials say that the biggest impact of the new search policy will be a much earlier check-in time for passengers.

Adorable image courtesy www.dkimages.com