We wish we could tell you about Ashlee Simpson's appearance at Gypsy Bar on Friday night. We'd love to report on what she was wearing, if she was pleasant, or if she said anything to the audience of Boston club-goers packed into a glassed-in section of Gypsy's VIP area.

We can't. And what makes it worse is that we were there. Invited to attend and photograph Simpson's only Boston promotional event in support of her new album, Bittersweet World, Bostonist was ready to give you the goods, but instead found ourselves trapped behind a velvet rope, police members, and club security. For three hours.

So, instead, we're going to take you into the world of Gypsy Bar during a celebrity promotional experience. Click on the jump to learn about how this Bostonist spent a super trendy Friday night - and why "LaLa" has been taken off our karaoke songlist.

Photo of Wentz and Simpson at Gypsy Bar on Friday night provided by the fantastic Michael Swarbick, who came to this Bostonist's aid just as we were leaving. Thanks, Michael!

9:50 p.m. - Bostonist and friend arrive at Gypsy Bar. Order a round of drinks, mosey up to the manager guarding the VIP section. Receive additional confirmation of media credentials and move into VIP area to wait. Learn that Ashlee should arrive at 11 p.m.

10 p.m. - Note the two velvet ropes in VIP. The first welcomes us into VIP Limbo. We're beyond the first rope; Ashlee is slated to hold court just beyond the second rope. We are not allowed beyond the rope quite yet. Settle in to wait, sip, and snap photos of the Ashlee signage on display. Make sure that our flash is set low; we don't want to blind the lass when we get our moment to photograph her.

10 p.m.-11:30 p.m. - Wait. Watch staff bring cushioned stools into Super VIP. Watch staff bring small couch into Super VIP. Watch staff take cushioned stools out of Super VIP. Watch staff bring cushioned stools back into Super VIP. Realize that Ashlee is running late. Start to look at clock at three-minute intervals. Double-check flash setting.

11:30 p.m. - A group of four is escorted beyond first rope. They pass us and sashay into Super VIP. Surmise that they are part of the Simpson entourage. Wait.

11:42 p.m. - Ashlee Simpson enters Limbo, then Super VIP, with bent head. Pete Wentz holds her hand, blocks our view. Consider taking a photograph, for the sake of ensuring that we have one, but decide against it for the sake of being polite. We'll get our moment and our shot.

11:45 p.m. - Overhear that Ashlee needs a drink. Blink from flashes pulsing from inside. Assume that crowd mashed beyond glass wall is group of paying customers. Point out that this feels like a zoo exhibit, realize that fans are getting shots when we aren't. Remain patient and optimistic.

12:00 a.m. - First round of photographers are allowed in. We are not. We instead settle against a Limbo armchair and realize that Chris Evans ("The Fantastic Four") is in Super VIP. He looks good. At least we have something to gaze at as we wait. Patiently.

12:15 a.m. - Share a moment with Chris Evans, as he and his crew (of two) move past us en route to the bathroom. We move out of his way. We know he intended to thank us.

12:18 a.m. - Realize that PEOPLE Magazine and US Weekly photogs are in the house. Wonder if PEOPLE intends to photograph every Simpson appearance on this tour.

12:20 a.m. - Evans returns, is soon seen talking to Wentz. We assume that he's pointing out the leggy blond with the camera hanging out among a bunch of other people in Limbo. Wentz doesn't look our way, which makes sense. He's a promised man. Good boy.

12:22 a.m. - Apologize profusely to friend who must leave. Pray that we can get our one freakin' shot so we can leave.

12:25 a.m. - Realize last T will be leaving Park Street shortly and Ashlee Simpson has not proven herself worthy of cab fare. Curse Ashlee Simpson. Bundle up gear, throw back one more glimpse at Evans (call us) and leave. Curse Ashlee Simpson. Sprint to Park Street. Curse Ashlee Simpson and try not to slip on snow. Catch T. Curse Ashlee Simpson.