April 3, 2008
Whip It: Anxiety Rises Over Tom Brady's Masculinity
A flurry of articles have expressed concern that Tom Brady is a little too into Gisele Bundchen, his panty model girlfriend. The Track Girls are the latest to ask, "Has Gisele Turned Tom Into Whipped Cream of the Crop?"
As you mull over that bundle of mixed metaphors, consider that Brady has been seen running around with Bundchen and is spotted carrying shopping bags and toting her dog. Apparently it is against the law for an NFL player to hang out with his girlfriend in the off-season. Considering what other sports figures do on season and off, Brady catering to a foxy girlfriend is really no big deal. People probably wouldn't care if the two of them weren't so bloody good-looking.
Is that Stetson ad masculine enough for you?
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Only the Inside Track could compare father to a dairy product. I do not know which is worse - their lies and mistruths or their insistence on puns. To be sure, in my future reign they will not hold a place of high esteem, but rather they will be required to wear yankees and/or visiting team attire at all popular boston sports events; inspiring home team enthusiasm, and more importantly a convenient target for half eaten hot dogs and assorted condiments.
I thank Bostonist for resisting the urge to make some sort of sensational news out of Father accompanying the Umlaut on an excursion. He has donated so much of his time to helping her. I am told that through his hard work, she now has the brain capacity of a purple froot loop (up from a yellow one a year ago). I envy the time he dedicates to her, but I admire his unflagging tenacity. And his tender, soft gaze.
If you want to know how manly Stetson is, by all means find out here.