The Boston Marathon has occasionally been the province of the inexperienced, and it's also opportunity for the mid-range runners to feel a sense of pride for finishing such a big race. When it comes to winning, though, Patriot's Day is a time for elite runners. The Boston Athletic Association has come out with a list of elite athletes expected to excel in this year's race, which includes last year's winners Robert Cheruiyot and Lidiya Gregoryeva.

Many elite women, however, will be foregoing the Boston Maraton this year in favor of the U.S. Women's Olympic Team Marathon Trials, held here on April 20, the day before the Boston Marathon. The multi-loop course is wildly different from the regular Boston route, but the marathon still finishes at the same spot on Boylston street. The trial, which starts 8:00 a.m. next Sunday, might be a good opportunity for early-rising Bostonians have a slightly less crowded marathon-watching experience.

Olympic dreams aside, even the Boston Marathon participants who didn't make the list are fairly talented--to have the privilege of running here, you have to run a qualifying time for your age group. Just looking at those makes us huff and puff a little. While other-sport athletes like Oprah nor Puffy (Diddy? Sean John? whatever), two of our most famous celebrity marathoners, would have made the cut for Boston. If even Oprah can't hack it, you know it's something serious.

In addition to the tough qualifying standards, Boston poses other threats as well. There's the infamous Heartbreak Hill, so named not only for the total trouncing it gives your almost-dead legs, but also for Tarzan Brown's post-hill re-passing of John Kelley that helped Brown go on to win the race in 1936. Beyond the course itself, though, there are the physical consequences of spending several hours on your feet and in motion. Muscle aches and gasping for breath are just the beginning--nipple chafing, the dreaded runners' toenail, and of course the obvious consequences of hydrating and goo-ing for four hours without a pit stop.

Fortunately, technology and ingenuity have given us solutions for most of these problems. There are NipGuards available to protect your tender nubs, and you can always make a fashionable toenail necklace out of all the nails you lose while running. As for that other problem... well, we don't feel the need to go there. Just remember, there's only a week left until the marathon, so we hope you're prepared on all fronts (and backs?).

Anyone have a marathon grossout story to share? On second thought, maybe we don't want to hear them...

Boston banner image from Flickr user Paul Keleher