doktor cocacolamacdonalds has the strangest name of any of the comedians performing at this weekend's AltCom 2008 festival. Bostonist got the jet-lagged doktor to answer a remarkable number of questions before he performs tonight at the Somerville Theatre.
Hey, doctor. Where are you from?
The city of Derby in England, birthplace of the Industrial Revolution, the home of the Jet Engine and the owners of the worst premiership soccer club of all time.
Some comedians are asked if they were the "class clown." How would you describe your youth experience? Were you a quiet, artistic type? Do you have a juvenile arrest record?
A skinny runt with below average intelligence who couldn't tie his own shoelaces and constantly forgot things with no fashion sense or sense of direction.
How long have you been known as Doktor Cocacolamcdonalds?
About three or four years depending on whose opinion you believe. Some people tell lies!
There are a bunch of influences listed on your MySpace page. Was there someone who was most pivotal in your artistic development?
Seeing Fred Armisen open for the Chicago rock band Shellac at festival in England.. I thought.. I want to do that!
Your name is somewhat of a household name (or names) in the States already. Do you have a plan and/or a goal to be as well-known in the States?
Well don't tell anyone but I do have a brown carbonated water and and meat in bread product range in development.
Are you concerned about the legal (or otherwise) attacks from international conglomerates?
HA HA! it would really stupid of them and really arrogant of me to really see that scenario happening.
Do you have long-term career goals?
Play shows, meet people, travel, and be on the TV again.
Do you have anticipation of your first American audience reaction?
No... It's going to be interesting to see how the ratio of baffled to laughing audience members compared to the UK is.
Does it bother you if people only laugh and perhaps not look deeper into your lyrics?
It would be a bad thing to ask an audience to react in certain way..you just have to throw out in to the void and see what happens...
What do you say when people ask you about your act?
You'll either love it or hate it.
Does it take a long time for the songs to be written? Or do they flow out?
If try and write them nothing happens. If I try not to write them they just appear in my BRAIN.
Do you often get recognized when you're off-stage?
In the UK I get Gene Hackman shouted at me a lot... (One of my songs!)
What music do you like to listen to?
Melt Banana, Oxes, Arab on Radar, Fugazi, Erase Errata... The more American and underground, the better.
Do you have a favorite drug?
Ecstasy. It makes going to the toilet fun.
Is there any comedian that you're interested in seeing this weekend?
All of them. I checked out everyone's stuff on you tube. I love alternative comedy.
Do you endorse any US presidential candidate?
Clinton. I suffer from OCD so I want the list of presidents to read Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton. What can I say, I love Symmetry!
I'd like to end the way Bernard Pivot (and James Lipton) does by asking these questions:
What is your favorite word?
Scrumptious
What is your least favorite word?
However
What turns you on?
Naked Bodies
What turns you off?
Clothed ones
What sound or noise do you love?
Birds song
What sound or noise do you hate?
Traffic
What is your favorite curse word?
Shit Off!
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Comedian
What profession would you not like to do?
Musician
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Where have you been? You're late!
Alright. Thank you, doktor cocacolamcdonalds! We'll see you tonight.
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