Showdown of the Wits

-- Lewis Black reads rants about religion using tales from his new book, Me of Little Faith. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll buy the book. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard Street, Brookline, 6pm, $5. (KS)

-- David Sedaris makes tonight a head-to-head battle of funnyman authors when he reads from his multi-titled new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames. Sold out, but you can listen to an audio feed outside the store and wait in line to get your book signed even if you're ticketless. Harvard Book Store, 1256 Mass Ave, Cambridge, 6pm. (KS)

The Gay Agenda

-- Boston's Guerilla Queer Bar brigade invades Boston's straight bars and makes the Barstool Sports crew start thinking about that wistful day in the fraternity house, when the grass was green and anything was possible. Tonight, GQB invades bars in the vicinity of the TD Banknorth Garden. More information.

Movies

-- Touch of Evil (1958), the movie in which Charlton Heston plays a Mexican police officer, lives up to its hype. From the famous three-minute tracking shot that opens the movie, to the closing moments, Orson Welles's masterpiece works at the extremes of the conventional visual language of film. It's an exclamation point at the end of traditional studio filmmaking. Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Cambridge, 5:15pm and 9:30pm. $9.50.

Old Folks' Rock

-- The list of misogynistic asides and taunts from Mudhoney's first album alone is long enough to make for a Wikipedia entry. Still, no band before or since has gotten so much grime out of a fuzz pedal. Our recommendation: see them drunk. With The Cynics and The Men. Middle East Upstairs, 472 Mass. Ave., Cambridge, 8:00pm. $20.

Community Theatre

-- The Footlight Club, which claims to be America's oldest community theater, presents a production of All in the Timing, a collection of seven short comedies by David Ives. 7A Eliot St., Jamaica Plain, 8:00pm (weekend performances through June 21). $18/$16.

Soccer

-- If you haven't caught a New England Revolution match yet, there's some added incentive to make it out to Foxboro tonight. The Brazilian and Venezuelan national teams are in town. Brazil is the second-ranked team in the world, and it has likely brought a few stars with it to Massachusetts. Oh, and the Revolution take on FC Dallas. Gillette Stadium, Foxboro, 6:30pm. $40.

Kerry Skemp contributed to this post.