Close to the Edge: Near Death on the Orange Line
Sports Redux: C's Shot Down
Max Goes to Longwood: Wild Things on the Subway
Saturday Happenings
Sunday Happenings
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Boston Derby Dames Championship: Season 2
Shriner's Auditorium, 99 Fordham Rd, Wilmington
June 14, 6pm
$16
[website | directions]
No one needs to wait until tomorrow for a local athletic championship match. While really tall guys will throw a ball into a basket and run around the court tomorrow, the real weekend sports action goes down in Wilmington tonight during the Boston Derby Dames Championship. This is rock-em, sock-em Flat Track Roller Derby action. Decades ago, the derby was watered-down entertainment that had more to do with phony wrestling than actual athleticism. Nothing is fake about the current era of highly competitive roller derby, and it's far more exciting.
The Derby Dames is a league full of cool, tough, sassy women who strive to excel at their sport like every other team. They just happen to be hipper, tougher, and better-nicknamed than most of the athletes that get the big paychecks. The Cosmonaughties will be taking on the Wicked Pissahs in tonight in a repeat of last year's championships. The Wicked Pissahs beat Cosmonaughties last year, but Pussy Venom still took the MVP award. Bostonist had a few minutes with Ms. Venom of the Cosmonaughties.
So, are the Cosmonaughties going to pull out it this year?
Dick, yeah. We're ready.
Do you prefer roller derby on Earth or the Moon?
On Pluto, with Fred Schneider of the B-52's jammer coaching.
How would you describe the level of competition between the Cosmonaughties and Wicked Pissahs--or the Nutcrackers?
It's pretty fierce, although we practice all together several times per week, and are all friends when we're off the track. We cooperate well with our hometeam opponents, because we all join forces to run the league together and produce these huge events.
More with Pussy Venom after the jump.
Is it different with out-of-town teams?
Games between the Boston Massacre, our all-star travel team, versus other cities are highly competitive because we are fighting to move up in the national rankings of the Women's Flat Track Derby Association. We plan to bring Boston to the national scene in a big way this year.
What do you think is the inspiration to join roller derby?
It's fun, campy, competitive, challenging--and you get to become part of an amazing community of women you wish you had as role models growing up. And you get to beat the shit out of people within the confines of a rules system that protects you from getting your face punched or your ear bitten off.
How long does it usually take for a new derby dame to get ready for a meet?
It varies according to your ability and how much effort you put in. It could take a few months or a year for a new skater to be ready to scrimmage. She's got to be safe on the track before we let her barrel into us.
We've got tryouts coming up in the fall, and we expect the women trying out to be skating on their own all summer to get their basic skills up to par. Details about tryouts are on the website.
How much do people need to know about roller derby to enjoy the action?
Not much! Most people enjoy the collisions and footwork before they actually learn the rules of the game. Of course you should learn the rules, pick favorite skaters, and follow your favorite team through the season; but don't let your lack of knowledge of the game inhibit you from seeing derby for the first time. Our bouts are an experience you won't soon forget.
How does the team choose the jammer to score the points?
The skater with the endurance and speed to survive hit after brain-rattling hit from a pack of massive predatory blockers without slowing down or giving up will become a first string jammer. It's a rough but glorious fate -- and ambition and drive is half of the required skill set.
In the old days men would be on roller derby teams, and the current roller derby scene seems to only include women. Do guys want to skate with the Dames?
As we're part of the WOMEN'S Flat Track Derby Association, we play only with and against women, the very women who invented flat track derby in its current incarnation and started the wave of DIY leagues all over the nation. Men can play hockey or whatever. Or they can ref, if they wear those short shorts.
Is it right that the after-party is going to last until 9pm?
No! That's more like when it starts. It usually goes on until around midnight.
What are the chances of roller derby rolling somewhere closer to Boston than Wilmington? Y'know, somewhere more "T-friendly"...
When you contact me with the owners of a building that meets these requirements -- and is willing to work with a group of admirable, responsible women:
- 100 x 65 feet of wood, resin, or polished concrete floor space for the track and safety buffer capacity for 1500 or more of our adoring fans
- electrical hookup for our announcer's P.A. system
- bleacher seating
- air conditioning or good ventilation
We'll look into it. [Bostonists, send in your suggestions for roller derby venues! We'll have a roller derby revolution! --Ed.]
These questions are the way Bernard Pivot and James Lipton end their interviews:
What is your favorite word?
Proletariat
What is your least favorite word?
Flailing
What turns you on?
Anais Nin
What turns you off?
Cormac McCarthy
What sound or noise do you love?
The roar of a lion
What sound or noise do you hate?
The crashing of two automobiles
What is your favorite curse word?
Dick?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Whatever exactly it is that Jane Goodall does.
What profession would you not like to do?
Waitress
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Wyld Stallyns!
Nice Bill and Ted reference!
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I'll root for anyone who name-checks Fred Schneider!