Bostonist has an Independence Day alternative for you--giving Vice President Dick Cheney a wide berth as he makes a surprise visit to Boston. He is attending a "Fourth of July military reenlistment ceremony aboard the USS Constitution."
While we're not sure what Mr. Cheney knows about military service, we are sure that Cheney's presence on the Constitution will cause a clash of matter and anti-matter, leading to a massive explosion. Either that, or he'll spray us with buckshot. Post contributed to by Michael Femia.
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