...and s/he knows where to put them. Milford has its pantyhose in a knot over the queen-sized black pantyhose littering a school bus stop on Camp Street. The hose is frequently left at the bus stop, where it freaks out innocent children trying to get to school, and is also simply a "sheer annoyance," as the Globe put it. One local woman said she picked up more than 40 pairs in one day--that's a lot of pantyhose. Maybe Jame Gumb is cleaning out his closet? The as-yet-unidentified Pantyhose Bandit is currently still on the "run" from the law. We hope the police can put a control (top) on the situation.

In other clothing-related news, patrons of an Allston dry cleaning company devastated by fire are finally getting their clothes back where they belong--on their bodies. Paris Cleaners was shut down after a fire in early June, and the clothing had been locked inside since. An eviction notice recently went up, and patrons were allowed inside to retrieve their blackened wardrobes. Unclaimed clothing will be stored in warehouse in Lynn for six months; after that, perhaps the Pantyhose Bandit will snag it all and move on to bigger and better things.

Many Bostonists contributed terrible puns to this post.