Sports Redux: Manny, Others Play Some Sort of Manny-Related Event

If you can't work out a way to have the Mariners on your schedule whenever you've got a losing streak, you can at least take comfort seeing Sidney Ponson strolling out to the mound for your opponent. Despite having achieved knighthood by the Queen of the Netherlands, Ponson's name has to enter an conversation involving "Worst Pitchers Of Our Lifetime That Seem To Keep Getting Work Somehow". (Relax, though, Wasdin. You're safe for now.)

He sure did help get the Red Sox' bats back on track, as they pounded Sir Sidney for seven runs and ten hits in just four innings. Manny doubled in the first run, then blew through a stop sign to score on Lowell's 2-run single. Varitek doubled in the third, Ortiz homered(!) in thre fourth, and that was it for Ponson. Jon Lester, meanwhile, was sailing along for the most part, giving up only two runs in the fifth while striking out eight. Final score: 9-2, Red Sox. The Angels come to town tonight. Revenge time.

We're required by law to weigh in on the Official Major Boston Sports Kerfuffle that is the Manny situation, and weigh in we shall. Manny gave his long-awaited "Whatever" speech to ESPN, the usual suspects are sharpening their executioners' axes, and over 60% of Boston.com readers think Manny's more trouble than he's worth. Fine, then. Put your money where your mouth is and trade him to the Yankees. If he's such a horrible distraction, let him distract the hell out of New York and we can fight Tampa Bay the rest of the way. Or maybe you'd just rather wait until the Red Sox don't resign him, and he signs with the Yankees next season anyway (if he's got to lose the hair, he can at least grow a standard Yankee mustache, right?). Hopefully, for the rest of the season, Manny doesn't get TOO much in the way of all those World Series the Red Sox won without him.

If the Sox had lost and/or completely pissed us off last night, we were fully prepared to lead this column with the ArenaBowl results. So, congratulations, Philadelphia Soul, who outgunned San Jose 59-56 to claim their first AFL title. ESPN has a condescending chart trying to show Philadelphians that they're not as title-starved as they think they are. A full quarter of them are convinced.