John Kerry Doesn't Really Rock Nantucket

TMZ has some exclusive photos of John Kerry getting down with taking photos with college students in Nantucket. We hope he wore his flip-flops. At the "political" party, a girl clad in a green dress buddied up to Kerry and hogged the Bud Light, while her friends made excellent use of penis straws.

TMZ commenters, enlightened as always, theorize that green is the new blue and share insights such as "DON'T TAISE [sic] ME BRO !!!!", "Did you know John Kerry is married to the Heinz Ketchup princess? So he smacks her on the bottom when he wants her to come!", and "rock on Mass!". We prefer our limerick:

John Kerry went to Nantucket
And encountered co-eds puking in buckets.
A green dress was worn,
Kerry looked forlorn,
And at the end of the night, all said "Fuck it."

"Kerry" on, our wayward sons... and daughters.

Update from Kerry's reps:

"As Sen. Kerry and two friends left dinner at the Straight Warf restaurant on Nantucket and walked down the dock, a large group on a boat recognized Senator Kerry and asked if they could have a photo taken. The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story.”
-- Kerry spokesperson David Wade

Sen. Kerry is apparently not the party animal we thought he was, and definitely not a fan of penis straws. Alas.