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Sports Redux: Bottoms Up For Seattle
"The Red Sox don't deserve a player like me," Manny Ramirez said yesterday. We're not sure; at this point, it seems like a match made in heaven.
Last night was either Manny's last game in a Sox uniform, or it wasn't, and either way it was pretty pathetic. Trailing 3-2 after five, the sixth hit the fan once again, and when the dust settled the Angels had a 9-2 win, a sweep, and some legitimate confidence that they could go all the way this year. Josh Beckett got hammered for the loss, and the only Sox runs came on a Coco Crisp home run. The Sox commited four errors, which screams "We're in this thing till the end!" to their patient fans.
But what's done is done. The buzz this morning is that the Sox are trying to assemble a three-way deal that would send Manny to the Marlins, with the Sox picking up a couple of Pirates. The big arrival would be Jason Bay, a power-hitting left fielder who would allow local headline writers to file their "Bay State" headlines on the way to the bar. For Manny's part, he'd join a Marlins clubhouse that makes a little more money combined than he does. For Pittsburgh's part...well, after 16 straight rebuilding years, we have to assume they're resigned to this. The Red Sox are trying to line up a Miami-bound pterodactyl as we speak.
While the Sox play out this farce involving a future Hall of Famer, the Yankees just went out and got one. Days after Jorge Posada opted for season-ending surgery, the Yanks picked up Ivan Rodriguez from Detroit for Kyle Farnsworth. This is, in layman's terms, the equivalent of trading four cardboard paper-towel tubes for Scarlett Johansson. Sure, cardboard tubes are useful, in that hamsters can gnaw on them for dental maintenance and to provide nesting material (much like Farnsworth) but you'd have to be a hamster to think that Detroit got full value in this trade. Pudge Rodriguez, like Scarlett Johansson, takes care of an immediate need. Scarlett's value as nesting material is a topic Bostonist would be happy to research and debate.
The Revolution cruised to a 1-0 win in their SuperLiga semifinal against Atlante in Foxboro. Then it got ugly, as the visitors decided to take out their frustrations on various Revolution body parts, punching and kicking their way to the airport. Might have something to do with the $1 million that Atlante could have picked up if they'd won the thing (an MLS team would only get $150K). "Every time a Mexican team loses, this happens," said goalie Matt Reis, ensuring that the next international "friendly" on the Revs' schedule probably won't be. The win sets up an All-American final on Tuesday with Rev nemesis Houston.
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I didn't think working Scarlett Johannson and paper towel tubes into a post could be done. But wow. Nor did I think she could be compared to Pudge Rodriguez.
After all the technical difficulties, that was a post worth waiting for!
more jokes about three-ways, please.
Michael you are a god among sports bloggers everywhere.
In the four cardboard tubes defense, they do have more musical ability than she does.
*bows in awe*
@Kerry: I'm trying to imagine what a "Pittsburgh Three-Way" might entail. It's not pretty.
Rick//To help your mental image, Heinz is based out of there....
Wouldn't Scarett Scarlett Johansson be more properly linked to wood than cardboard?
Sorry. It had to be said.
The Sox were dead last night and have been for a month. They were below .500 in July. They'll win crap at that rate. They need to slap the team in the face to get back in the game.
Manny's lazy play and slow mental acuity has sunk the Sox into a morass. Trading the court jester is no longer an option.
Is Matt Reis related to Al Campanis?
Hello dear ladies and gentlemen!
I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy), most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!
I'll tell you guys more, those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, North Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff 100% controlling all their clones spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Think wise..
Apparently those clones are very actively shown on your website. This is just a warning, because original person is not happy about those images and video, rumors and etc., in that way it would be really nice if you try slow down that ''actress'' career development on your magazine, original Scarlett's parents will really appreciated that. Please do that, do not wait until FBI agent give you a call with questions. Please remember that original family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created, it all need to be return back to original family control to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. If you ignore warning after this message, there can happen law suit..
Original Scarlett is not engage, by the way!
Her close friend Serge G.
P.S.
H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more.
These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.
I'll admit, that's an angle that hadn't occurred to me before.
So is he trying her boobs aren't real? Well, that's just rude.