We'll get to the picks and the standings in a minute. The Sox and Rays were both off last night; the Twins and White Sox both lost, so realistically, the chances of them both making a major run and the Red Sox losing the Wild Card is slim. Very slim. But let's not count any chickens yet.

The Celtics are poised to resign Sam Cassell, meaning just about the whole gang is back to defend their title. Sam's also apparently being groomed to be a coach one day in the not-too-distant future. Remember: one "L" for the Patriots' QB, two "L"s for the C's mad bomber.

The Revolution shook off their recent inconsistency, and blasted Chivas USA 4-0 at Foxboro. If you guessed Taylor Twellman scored one of the goals, you're right! Jeff Larentowicz, Khano Smith and Steve Ralston all scored insurance goals in the last ten minutes, maybe because Chivas' goalie wandered off or something.

Week One pick results: Yours truly and VinF tied with 11, thechief and MJG tied with 8, Jocelyn had 5, Carolyn 2 and Rob 1. (We gave everybody the Giants, remember). You've got to pick them all if you're going to compete, kids. On to Week Two, home team as always in caps:

Patriots over JETS: Yeah, we went there. There's nothing funnier than Jets Nations' ill-placed overconfidence. A week for Bill to retool the offense to help Matt out? We'll take it.
KC over Oakland: The fact that KC could hang sort of tough with a Patriots team at Gillette Stadium after all the oxygen was sucked out of the room bodes kind of well, but it's nothing compared to the lift teams get when Oakland is next on the schedule.
MINNESOTA over Indy: "0-2 Peyton" sounds good enough for us.
Tennessee over CINCINNATI: Next Titans home game, Vince Young's mom is going to kick anyone's ass who boos her son. We joke about people wandering off, but Vince actually did it.
Buffalo over JACKSONVILLE: Yeah, OK, after Week One, there's one AFC East team that legitimately scares us.
ARIZONA over Miami: The Cardinals, by virtue of a Seattle choke, are now all alone in first place. Dogs and cats, living together.
San Diego over DENVER: An 0-1 start on a heroic Panther play, but the Chargers aren't going to lose a pressure-filled game like this...in a month that ends in R, anyway.
Philly over DALLAS: Upset special? We just kind of have a feeling about this one.

Green Bay over DETROIT, New Orleans over WASHINGTON, CAROLINA over Chicago, SEATTLE over San Francisco, TAMPA BAY over Atlanta, Pittsburgh over CLEVELAND, WHAT'S LEFT OF HOUSTON over Baltimore.