September 15, 2008
Nessie, other nautical minorities, spotted in the Charles
An animal alleged to be Loch Ness Monster was spotted by a group on a Boston Duck Tour yesterday. An observer of the incident provided the following drawing of the encounter. An area paleontologist, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Bostonist in an exclusive interview that, "the positioning of the flippers, combined with the angle of the jawbone, leads me to believe that the creature represented in the meticulously executed, true-to-life drawing is most likely Nessiteras rhombopteryx. However," she added, "I would need to see the dorsal posterior aspect of the body to confirm these findings."
Upon hearing of Nessie's welcoming, albeit in a duck costume (perhaps as an element of disguise), other weird and wonderful maritime creatures flocked to the boat, including several mermaids. Many waterfowl also flocked to the scene, and appeared quite at home with their costumed maritime companions.
"Generally, Massachusetts is known as a state that prides itself on diversity, so it makes sense that little-known wildlife would flock to this area with the hopes of gaining acceptance in the community," said a cryptozoologist who was too paranoid to speak on the record.
A community organizer, also speaking on the premise of anonymity, said "word may have gotten out that Massachusetts now offers comprehensive health care coverage, and mermaids may qualify for that. Although mermaids aren't at risk of getting gangrene from constantly exposing feet to the damp habitat, these creatures surely have other medical ills."
The individual who appears to be high-fiving Nessie, while also blessing a swan, could not be identified at the blogging deadline. The Boston Archdiocese could not be reached for comment.
At the moment, marine biologists are unsure if the recent influx of mermaids and cryptocritters has any relevance to the migration of alligators out of area sewer systems.


